“you can’t run great software on a crappy operating system. To change your habits, you first have to change your beliefs” – Darren Hardy
Have anyone ever said something to you that seems foolish, false or completely irrational? Has it caused you to immediately discredit all future information from that source? If so, congratulations. You are human. Just like how the built-in “ouch, that’s hot” reflex draws our bodies away from pain, our brain protects our subconscious from being poisoned by bad information. As John Lenberg puts it, “your subconscious mind doesn’t give a shit. It’s like a baby chick, it will eat whatever it’s mother feeds it.”
Every day, beneficial information is discredited and valuable opportunities stifled because a primal instinct (our inner child, if you will) perceives it to be harmful. How does our brain decide what information is “good”, and which is “bad”? It starts with our beliefs. When beliefs are weighted with emotions they bring values, thought, action and lifestyle. Every action we make is a result of what we believe in. So, ideas that challenge our core beliefs often get shut down immediately. Our inner child guarding the door to our subconscious sees a threat to our current standard of living and rejects the ideas. These ideas may actually help us so we must all know how to stand up to the voice inside and do the right thing.
Here are 5 powerful ways of teaching your inner child to behave:
1) take a deep breath before throwing a tantrum
Counting 1-3 seconds before responding allows triggered emotions to fade. This ensures an adult’s response.
2) ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions
You owe it to your inner child to relay beneficial information. If something is fuzzy but still sparkles, don’t let your kid throw it in the trash. That’s lazy. Be resourceful and satisfy your curiosity.
3) reward good behaviour, learn from bad
Celebrate all progress with your inner child. Taking compliments well is equally as important as giving them well. On a day where things don’t go your way, take notes. Your child is watching you.
4) short term pain breeds long term pleasure and vice versa
Imagine someone ripped the space-time continuum and showed you the effect of eating McDonald’s over 30 years after just one bite. How about if you were shown your 30 year sum of saving $5 per day after just one day. Would you change your habits?
5) confront the bully
People make up excuses so they don’t have to face their fears of loss, rejection and failure (or success). Plain and simple, everyone does it. If you are human, you have made excuses. Help your inner child stack memories of positive responses to challenges. Each experience, success or failure, builds your child back stronger and with a more expanded comfort zone.
With a trained inner child, hear out everyone. You never know when life will broadside you with fortune.
“when you step through your fear, not only is the fear gone, but you’re there! The bigger, stronger you!” – Tony Robbins
“Even a good excuse is still just an excuse.” – Coach Dave Francis